Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Grow up!

Is anyone else tired of being told what to do?

When I was a kid, I used to moan about the stream of instructions my parents issued.

“When you behave like an adult,” my mom answered, “I’ll treat you like one.”

I have a mortgage, hot flashes and empty-nest syndrome; I think I’m qualified. Yet I’m constantly faced with orders from complete strangers – and lifeless ones at that.

“ENJOY LIFE,” exhorts the bench outside my library.

“Wag more; bark less,” rules the bumper sticker on the car ahead of me and okay, that one made me laugh, but still….

Who decided that the imperative was underused? That people were undercommanded? What is this, a dictatorship? Where are the language police when we need them!

My favourite bumper sticker so far: “Behind every pretty girl is a guy who’s tired of her shit.” 

My favourite song at the moment: Melissa McClelland’s A Girl Can Dream. 

And this T-shirt has been at the top of my list for fifteen years: “Fear – the thief of dreams.”

I wish someone had told me this stuff when I was a kid.


  1. if peter pan doesn't have to grow up, neither do i!

    love that sticker about the pretty girls :)

  2. Actually I prefer the direct commands to the sneaky, guilt-inducing suggestions. Such as "oh, I don't eat chocolate" followed by a pointed stare at my waistline.

  3. The trick is not to behave like an adult! It's a lot easier to ignore all the orders then. Hey, if it works for the teens in my life, it'll work for me...